


I Swear

by fangirleverything4



Category: New Girl
Genre: F/M, Pre-Relationship, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:00:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21787162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirleverything4/pseuds/fangirleverything4
Summary: A quick story about Jess and Nick early days when Nick decides to force the gang to sign the oath.
Relationships: Jessica Day/Nick Miller
Comments: 5
Kudos: 67





	1. Chapter 1

A sliver of sunlight managed to break into Nick Miller's bedroom where he had hoped the clutter and filth would block out the relentless sun. He worked at a bar to avoid daylight and people. Daylight was for humans and Nick hadn't felt like a human in a long time. Nick rolled over pressing his face further into the pillow hoping to drift off into unconsciousness once more when three loud raps came on the door.

"Nick come on we have more interviews to do. We scheduled them for after ten like we all agreed on" Schmidt cheery voice burst into the room. Nick groaned loudly.

"Get up or I send in Coach" Schmidt called again. Nick wiggled lower under his covers. Sweet silence followed and Nick breathed a sigh of relief. A beefy hand ripped back the covers.

TWWWEEEETTTT!!!!! "Up Miller its 1000 interview time!!" Coach bellowed as the whistle in his mouth blew shrilly. Nick sat up trying to get his chubby heart to slow. Muttering he got up and got dressed. 

For a month now Nick and his roommates had been interviewing people to move in to the fourth bedroom. Walking into the sunny living room Nick winced lightly. His head pounded a little from his long night of drinking, crying, and calling Caroline. "Is this really necessary? Can't we afford to live on our own?" Nick harrumphed plopping down in his usual spot on the sofa.

"You can't afford it now. I've been covering your share for two months now. Gotta make those dolla dolla bills" Schmidt reminded him.

"Jar" all the guys said in unison. 

At that moment someone knocked on the door. Schmidt got up, dropping a dollar bill in the douchebag jar as he went. Nick groaned a little but Coach nudged him hard. Nick grumbled but sat up as a rail of a guy walked in. He was wearing a black sweater and jeans with perfectly coiffed hair and skin pale as a ghost. _'Seriously it's May in LA. You need a sweater'_ Nick thought venomously. Then he forced his inner grump down a little.

"So tell us a little about yourself Edwin" Schmidt began sitting down between Coach and Nick.

"I work....in a doctor's office...occasionally" the guy said slowly.

"By occasionally you mean part-time?" Nick asked irritably.

"Sure" the guy drawled. Nick's skin prickled uncomfortably. He glanced at Coach who had his eyes narrowed as well.

"Um...what do you do at the doctor's office?" Coach asked.

"I work with...blood" Edwin said seriously drawling it out.

"Okay I think that's all our questions. We will be in contact with you" Schmidt said standing up quickly and ushering the freak back out the door. Nick fetched three beers from the fridge, cracked them open against the table and returned to the coach as Coach bellowed "which loser is next?". Nick sighed back into his spot on the couch and took a long pull from the beer.

"It's not even noon Miller" Coach hollered. "How many more interviews do we have today?" Nick asked Schmidt. "Nine more" Schmidt sighed. Coach grabbed the second beer from the table taking a long pull too. A loud rap announced the next candidate. Nick groaned and stood to get the door. 

Nick swung the door open and felt the breath leave his lungs. The most beautiful girl he had ever seen stood outside the door. She grinned a smile so wide and bright it hit him like a ray of sunshine. It made his insides flutter softly. Her chocolate brown hair cascaded down her bare shoulders, her blunt bangs covering most of her forehead hanging just above these two huge globes of brilliant blue eyes that blinked at him bashfully under black frames. She thrust a hand forward. _Get a grip you idiot_ Nick told himself. He shook her hand feeling his hand envelop hers.

"I'm Jess" she said sweetly smiling widely once more.

He felt his mouth tug up. He was surprised to find he was smiling.

"Um Nick" he replied. "C-come in" he said gruffly waving awkwardly into the apartment.

She sauntered in not noticing Coach and Schmidt check her out. Nick blushed and returned to the couch. Coach raised an eyebrow at him and grinned knowingly. Nick scowled forcing any smile remnants to wipe off his face.

"Wow this apartment is beautiful" Jess said looking around the room.

"So Jess what do you do?" Coach asked.

"I'm a teacher. I'm from Portland. I moved here with my boyfriend Spencer" Jess said and the light in her eyes dimmed a little. Nick felt an odd pang in his deadened heart. Coach's jaw tightened. He had two sisters and Nick wondered if he wasn't the only one feeling protective of this stranger.

Schmidt coughed awkwardly and asked "do you have any pets?".

Jess sniffled. "Well see Spencer and I were planning to get a puppy. That didn't work out. Let me backtrack. So, you know, in horror movies when the girl's like "Oh my god there's something in the basement. Let me just run down there in my underwear and see what's going on down there".

And you are like "what is wrong with you. Call the police" and she's like "okay" but then it's too late because she's already getting murdered?

My story is kind of like that. Two weeks ago I found myself in a cab. I had come back early from a trip and was going to surprise Spencer. I called my best friend CeCe." she rambled on as Coach, Schmidt, and Nick exchange a puzzled look.

"So I was saying to Cece that I had a surprise for Spencer. I had it all planned. I was going to walk into our house and drop my coat and I would be stark naked underneath. He said he had this fantasy that I'm a stripper with a heart of gold, and he's helping me put myself through college" she continued.

Nick's mouth went suddenly dry and he took another long pull from his beer his eyes glued to the fascinating creature in front of him. "He didn't say the college part but I wanted to create a three-dimensional sex character" she nodded solemnly.

When Nick coughed a little on his beer, Coach gave him another look out of the corner of his eye. "My stripper name was Rebecca Johnson, Boobies Johnson, Two Boobs Johnson. So anyways I walked into my house and called out for Spencer. Spencer walked out of our room in his boxers. I got into my persona and said "I'm not Jess. You're talking to Tiger Boobs."" Jess continued into the shocked silence.

Then she broke out in song and Nick's ears were filled with sugary sweetness. "Buh-buh-buh-buh-buha. I'm doing sexy things with a pillow. She's doing sexy things to the plant right here. I'll pick that up later. Who's that girl. Who's that girrrll. It's Jess" she trilled. "Then I turned around and some girl stood there in a tank top and her underwear. So that happened. That's why I need a new apartment. I'm sorry what was the question again?" Jess asked the pained look in her eyes depleting as her curious wide eyes met Nick's.

The boys sat in stunned silence. Nick's blood boiled and he felt stunned at the response. Anger was a usual response for him but he wasn't angry at this stranger. He was angry for her. Huh. Nick rubbed his hands together slowly and replied "Do you have any pets?".

Jess laughed a little in a self-depricating manner and gave him a crooked smile. Nick felt a soft tug on his heart and he once again copied her grin with one of his own. Coach gasped softly. Jess looked between Nick and Coach and then shrugged.

"You know when I saw your ad on Craigslist, I thought you were women" she said laughing lightly.

Schmidt shifted forward next to Nick. Nick laughed smiling widely and the sensation felt so foreign in his gut. When was the last time he laughed or smiled he thought to himself. He had been in a funk for six months but he hadn't really been that grumpy that he hadn't smiled in six months had he?.

"Why would you think that? I mean why would you think that that's crazy" Schmidt demanded. Nick grinned.

"Schmidt wrote that ad" Nick told her.

Jess's eyes widened. How that was possible Nick couldn't comprehend. "I guess it was some of the words you used like um sun-soaked and beigey" Jess replied emphasizing with her hands.

Coach and Nick chuckled. Schmidt scowled and pulled his teeshirt off. "What are you doing?" Nick asked in disbelief.

"Do these look beigey to you?" Schmidt asked with emphasized swagger.

Nick had been living with Schmidt for years and he had watched him descend into epic doucheness yet he couldn't believe he was actually hitting on this girl who was clearly hurting. "I'm sorry" Nick apologized.

To her credit, Jess didn't look insulted just a little weirded out. "I'm his trainer so this is kind of the house that Coach built" Coach bragged patting Schmidt's flat chest. He didn't quite have abs yet but he was flat as a board. Nick couldn't help himself.

"That is baby smooth" Nick noted feeling not even a baby hair anywhere.

"This is LLS. Ladies Love Scmidt" Schmidt said tilting his head seductively towards Jess.

"What? What did you just say?" Coach growled.

"Go put a dollar in the jar right now!" Coach demanded.

"Seriously?" Schmidt asked in surprise.

"Jar" Nick growled and pointed and Jess followed his finger to the mason jar with the pink post it note that Nick had scrawled Douchebag Jar on which had a dollar in it already from Schmidt's comment on politics from yesterday.

As Schmidt got up and put a dollar in the jar, Jess got up. Nick's eyes felt their way up from her delicate ankles in black pumps to her long muscular legs. Her dress was knee length so it gave a lot to imagine. Nick forced him to snap up before he had to put a dollar in the jar himself.

"This place is beautiful" Jess commented in amazement as she walked around the couch. Nick swiveled in his seat to follow her movement.

"It gets so much light. Spencer hated life. It's hard to say his name" Jess continued her voice cracking and once again that excited gleam seeped out to be replaced by a familiar desolate look and Nick felt furious. He turned around to hide his scowl.

"Nick knows how you feel. He got dumped" Schmidt called.

"Dumped. Yeah I got dumped" he scoffed.

"Nick" Coach said in his slightly quieter voice, which was his concerned voice.

"Yeah I got dumped. She dumped me" Nick reconciled hoping to avoid another lecture.

"And I'm over it. Okay, it was six months ago, guys. Get past it" Nick continued getting angry. He looked over to Coach but caught Jess's gaze instead with concern in her eyes. 'Shit' Nick thought.

"I don't even know why we are still talking about it. Why's everybody looking at me?" Nick asked feeling more and more defensive. Then he curled into himself hoping he would disappear from sight of the wide-eyed beauty standing a few feet away. Jess gazed down at him and Nick could feel her warm gaze assess him. She walked swiftly over to their kitchen.

"Um what are you doing?" Coach asked following her into the kitchen.

Jess didn't answer instead continued shuffling through the cabinets. Schmidt pulled on a sweater, tugged Nick to his feet and joined them. “Aha!” Jess called triumphantly turning around with a box of popcorn in her manicured hands.

“Helps soothe even the brokenest of hearts” she promised meeting Nick’s eyes. Nick stood there meeting Jess’s brilliant blue eyes and felt fragile. His mouth felt rather dry. She spun around and began preparing the popcorn. Schmidt went into OCD mode and began tottering after her. Coach patted Nick on the shoulder and gave him a questioning look. Nick nodded weakly.

“I actually think she means well. I know how you are about privacy but I don’t think she was being intrusive” Coach whispered.

Nick just shook his head. He didn’t feel violated like he did when Schmidt tried to be nice to him but he did feel different and he wasn’t sure yet if that was good or bad. A beep of the microwave made Nick snap to attention. The kitchen was filled with the buttery smell of popcorn. The smell was actually making Nick feel a little better. He had been living off takeout and beer and his stomach growled at the promise of real food. Schmidt poured the popcorn into a wooden bowl. Jess peered intensely up at Nick. Swallowing he stumbled forward awkwardly and grabbed a fistful of popcorn. The popcorn was the perfect amount of butter and salt and it warmed Nick’s insides as he chewed.

“See he looks marginally less grumpy already” Jess said triumphantly taking a handful herself.

Schmidt laughed and the tension in the room broke. Schmidt walked around the counter and the boys all sat at the bar stools around the kitchen island.

“You know what. I want to live here” Jess said fiddling with a pear in her hands. Nick’s heart leaped into his throat.

“Actually I still have some questions. I mean, no offense, we barely know you" Nick stammered.

"Yeah, okay, yeah. So um full disclosure I'm kind of emotional right now because of the breakup. So, I'll probably be watching Dirty Dancing six or seven times...a day" she muttered.

Nick rubbed his beard as he watched Jess talk. "I'm a teacher so I bring home a lot of Popsicle sticks and stuff like that" she continued.

Nick frowned at this. _What grown woman actually plays with Popsicle sticks as a career_ Nick thought to himself.

"Also I like to sing to myself. A lot. A lot" she repeated singing and looking away. The more she talked the more baffled Nick became.

"I'm tired of living with my friend. She's a model. All her friends are models" Jess finished.

Schmidt's face lit up like a kid at Christmas. "Uh, how soon can you move in?" Schmidt asked.

"Actually, Schmidt slow up" Nick began.

"Not happening" Coach agreed.

"Okay uh could you just give us a second. I just got to..gotta talk to my boys" Schmidt grinned cockily.

"'My boys' is not a thing" Nick promised Jess using quotation marks with his fingers.

"My bros, okay?" Schmidt said placatingly.

"Okay, douche bag jar" Nick scolded.

"What? You're my bros" Schmidt muttered as he sauntered over to the bathroom. Coach and Nick sighed and followed after him.

"Come on guys. I'm gonna say yes. Her friends are models. Okay you guys? Models" Schmidt said excitedly.

Nick shook his head vehemently at the idea of supermodels coming traipsing in the apartment day in and day out. That was a nightmare of his.

"I say no. I need to be able to come home from work, sit on my couch, and let my beans out. Let em' breathe" Coach drawled.

"Nick, it's all up to you buddy" Schmidt told him.

Nick's heart started drumming. He hated decision making in the best of times but the prospect of convincing the boys to let this beautiful creature live with them...Nick wasn't sure he was even ready for that. But also somewhere in his deadened heart, Nick didn't want her to leave.

"Well, first let me say, I think you guys make some really interesting points, points that I respect but I will say this. I have lived with a woman, Caroline, as you guys know and so I know there are pros and there are real cons guys" Nick began.

"Nick, you're weak!" Coach bellowed.

"Okay, pro they smell nice" Nick continued thinking of Caroline's expensive sickly sweet perfume and of the warm vanilla smell that had been dancing in the apartment for the past fifteen minutes.

"Cons, every once in a while, their mood changes and you're not sure why. They'll ruin your life if you let them. They'll break down your will to live" Nick told them.

Schmidt nodded. "Pros, they're really good at folding" Nick continued thinking of all of his time living with Caroline.

"Make a decision!" Coach yelled furiously.

Reaching back for his hood Nick continued on his list. "But, like another pro, like"

"No don't do it" Schmidt begged.

"Oh I'm gonna do it" he swore pulling his hood over his head.

"Don't hood me. Please don't hood me" Schmidt pleaded.

"I know what I'm talking about" Nick grumped crossing his arms and disappearing into the darkness of his hood welcoming the escape.

"Pushed him too hard" Coach admitted.

"We did push him too hard. How about this? Executive decision. She's in" Schmidt told him.

"Yay! I'm in" came a sudden shriek making Nick jump. "You are not gonna regret this" Jess promised.


	2. Functional Heartbreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Completely made up covering the first three days of Jess staying in the apartment.

Nick liked silence. He chose to work weekday shifts at the bar. He worked nights so the apartment would be quiet during the day. Even when the apartment was full Nick could shut out all sound by shifting some clothes in front of the door.

However, no one made more sound than Jessica Day. At that moment, she was making more noise than an elephant. The girl only weighs 90 pounds Nick thought grumpily throwing himself out of bed and tugging on sweats and his red hoodie. "Jess what are you doing?" Nick asked in exasperation.

Jess's pink face and wide eyes appeared around a massive box. "Trying not to wake you" she huffed blowing her bangs up.

Nick walked around the box and came to a full stop taking in Jess huffing and groaning in tight black yoga pants and a red spandex halter top. She fell to the floor with an oof. Jess tugged her pants up and tried to adjust her top but it insisted on molding to her body. Nick felt himself tighten at the sight and rushed to distract himself. "So" he coughed. "I'm guessing that's your friend Cece's clothes" Nick scoffed.

"That obvious huh? I know Cece is a model but she seriously doesn't know how to be comfy" Jess said shifting.

"Come with me" he growled taking pity on her. He strolled into his room and pulled out an faded college teeshirt and a pajama pants with tags still on them from his mom. He turned around to see Jess standing awkwardly in the doorway checking out his room.

"Here" he said unceremoniously dumping the clothes into her arms.

"Thanks. I'm just gonna" Jess replied awkwardly pointing to her room and Nick nodded.

Nick glanced back at his bedroom imagining it from someone else's perspective. God it looked depressing. Suddenly, Nick couldn't stand it anymore. He picked up his clothes that he used to block his door and tossed them in his laundry basket. He went to his windows and pulled off the blanket he had MacGyvered into a curtain.

The room looked a lot more human with some light filtering in it. Jess's door opened again and she appeared with a content smile across her face. The clothes hung loosely over her tiny frame but Nick thought she looked cuter in his clothes than in skintight exercise clothes.

"Better?" Nick asked.

"Much. Thanks" she grinned widely.

She glanced into his room and smirked but thankfully didn't comment.

"Well I have a bed to set up" Jess told him determinedly striding back into the den.

"You know how to set up a bed?" Nick asked smugly.

Jess gritted her teeth and shoved the box with all her might. It moved barely a couple of centimeters. "Fine, I don't know how to set up a bed!" Jess exclaimed.

Nick came over and as a team they managed to shove the box into Jess's room. Nick gazed around her room which was so minimalistic it shocked him. There was one lone floral suitcase. "I know. As I said, all my stuff is at Spencer's" Jess said and tears started leaking out of those giants orbs that fascinated Nick so much.

Nick's heart cracked a little. "Please Jess don't do that. I'll help you with the bed. We'll put on some music and drink some beers" Nick suggested.

Before Nick could react, Jess hugged him and stepped away. "I'll grab the beers" she called.

Nick stood frozen as his arms tingled from the feeling of human contact. Nick thought back on his breakup in the past six months. _Was he that consolable? He had a place to live and Caroline broke up with him not cheated on him. Jess had nowhere to live, nothing but a suitcase of clothes to her name. Yet, here she is two weeks later moving into a new place and buying new furniture. I found my furniture at a flea market Coach dragged me to after five days of sleeping on a towel in my room. She is braver than I will ever be._

"Beers" Jess said her radiant smile back.

Nick found himself smiling back, the desire to smile still surprising to him. Over the next hour or so Nick discovered just how much his stomach can hurt, not from anxiety or depression, but genuine bellyaching laughter. 

~

_"I've had the time of my life._ Spencer I love you" Jess sobbed into the couch cushions.

"This is crazy" Coach said watching Nick.

"What?" Nick asked defensively hoping his face hadn't revealed how much his heart was twisting.

"This girl has been here two days and has watched that stupid movie over ten times" Coach growled.

"Give her a break. It's her day off. It's perfectly fine to watch TV all day" Nick said gruffly.

"Absolutely not" Coach replied.

"She just needs a bit of Schmidtzz in her" Schmidt drawled walking out of his bedroom.

"Oh please you really think you can get with that?" Coach asked laughing.

"Oh please. Heartbreak is like natural lubrication. You tell the girl she deserves better and she down to clown" Schmidt told Coach.

"Jar" Coach and Nick said in unison.

Nick watched tentatively from his spot in the kitchen. Schmidt walked over, placed a dollar in the jar, and then strolled over to the couch.

Schmidt called "hey Jess" as he sat on the couch and extended his arm across the back of the couch. Jess sniffled in response.

"Hi Schmidt" she said her voice choking a little.

"Hey girl why don't I take you out tonight? We can have a little sush and a little champers" Schmidt said.

Jess swiveled her head back towards him and her big eyes slowly filled with tears. "Jar" she said strongly but her voice rough.

Nick felt a furious rush of blood course through him. _This girl is now their roommate. No one should be hitting on her like this. Someone needs to watch out for this girl_ Nick thought angrily.

A phone alarm brought him out of his furious contemplation. Jess grabbed her phone, turned off the TV, and stood up. Nick, Schmidt and Coach watched in shock as she stood, wiped away her tears and flashed them all a watery smile.

"Time to go lesson plan. If anyone needs me I'll be neck deep in stickers and paper clips" she said with a half grin.

"Damn, see Nick that is what a functional heartbreak looks like" Schmidt said in amazement walking back over to the kitchen.

Nick nodded in agreement and then scowled over at him. "I knew you couldn't close" Coach laughed.

"That's it. I am not sitting by while you two dumbasses hit on her. If we are all going to try and live with this girl no one sleeps with her" Nick growled furiously. 

Nick remembered briefly how Jess had looked in his clothes and he realized that included himself in this promise. Schmidt's eyes widened.

"Are you serious?" Coach asked in disbelief.

"Yes" Nick said to himself and the boys.

"It's the only way to avoid problems" Nick said, realizing in that moment how many issues would happen if any of the guys slept with Jess. Nick's heart thumped faster and a blush colored his cheeks.

"He might be right. We did agree to live with this girl. It's probably for the best we all swear not to sleep with her. Or try to sleep with her" Coach smirked in Schmidt's direction.

Schmidt frowned but nodded. "I'll legislate this ish but do we all swear that as long as Jessica Day lives in apartment 4J no one will nail her" Schmidt asked.

"A no nail oath. Alright. I swear" Coach said in agreement.

Nick gazed down the hallway where he could hear ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’ playing. His lips tugged as they always seemed to do in response to Jess. He felt his heart drift down the hall in tune to the music as his lips moved.

"I swear" Nick said into the quiet. 


End file.
